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 Iris's short stories

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Posts : 2
Join date : 2014-05-13
Age : 20

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PostSubject: Iris's short stories   Iris's short stories Icon_minitimeSun May 18, 2014 8:44 pm

The Silent Town.
    You sit up. Hazily, you rub your eyes as you check your clock. Eight thirty. Great, now you've overslept, you should already be on your way to work. You crawl out of bed and head to the shower.  You hop in the shower, wearily turning the faucet, trying to adjust to the correct temperature. As you start washing, you think about work. Your boss will probably be furious. You've already missed work a lot this month, and he's getting sick of it. "Let him fire me," you think to yourself as you hop out of the shower. You're sick of working at a low paying job with no chance of becoming something. While you're drying off, you notice something. It's quiet. Usually, that would be normal, but something about this silence isn't right. You brush this off as paranoia and continue on with your daily routine.

     As you head out, that eerie feeling you had earlier is back. Your neighbors aren't outside. Usually, they are heading for work at this time. As you ponder on this you come across another startling conclusion. There aren't any animals outside either. No dogs, no cats, not even birds. This realization startles you, and you walk towards your car. Wearily, you grab your keys and put them in the ignition. Maybe some music will calm you down. You turn on the radio but there's nothing but static on every channel. You quickly turn it off. Who needs music anyway? Continuing down the road, you notice that you're the only one driving. You try to calm yourself by saying least you don't have to worry about rush hour today, but it doesn't help. The feeling of isolation has quickly escalated. You step on the gas to get to work as quick as possible.

     When you pull into the parking lot, you look around. It's completely empty. You rush inside hoping desperately to find someone, Anyone. You run past the empty cubicles faster, and faster, and faster. What the hell is happening? Where is everyone? Your bosses room is empty. The maddening silence continues to overwhelm you as you run through town, pounding on every door you see. Eventually, your legs give out as you fall to the ground. You break down into tears, screaming. You don't want to be alone. Suddenly, a black figure appears in front of you. His red eyes seem to pierce through your soul.  "What the hell are you?" you scream. The figure says nothing. It reaches behind him and pulls out a gun. Slowly, you grab the gun and look it over. You put it to your head. "Thank you," you say as you squeeze the trigger.

    A crowd gathers over your lifeless body. The girl on the bench is clearly startled. A police officer starts asking her questions. "I don't know why they did it," she says. "They were running through town, pounding on every door. They fell in the middle of the road and started crying. Then, they pulled out a gun and shot themself." She breaks down into tears as the officer tries to comfort her. "That's all I needed to know ma'am" he says as he looks over your corpse. Slowly, he pulls the sheet over you, giving a cold smile as his eyes turn red.
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Posts : 136
Join date : 2014-05-09
Age : 23
Location : Somewhere in the US

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PostSubject: Re: Iris's short stories   Iris's short stories Icon_minitimeWed May 21, 2014 9:16 pm

I love this. Is there a particular type of monster that the man is? I know you mentioned something about having a bunch of interesting creatures you wanted to use for your writing.

Anyways, you should post more short stories, and you should definitely not shy away from putting this up in the critique section. I promise nobody is going to rip it apart, it's too good for that Smile

Plus short stories and poems are my favorite things to critique Razz

"Here's another curse: may all your bacon burn." - Calcifer, Howl's Moving Castle
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