The Prize We Sought

This is a creative writing forum for anyone and everyone. Welcome in!
 
HomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
Welcome to the Prize We Sought! Be sure to check out our sister role-playing site, pathlesstraveled.forumotion.com!
The winner of May's writing contest is MaybeiwasOddandOdd! Be sure to enter August's contest!
The logo contest is open! Get your submissions ready!

Share | 
 

 The Predator

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Syrena

avatar

Posts : 112
Join date : 2014-05-15
Age : 19
Location : Earth

PostSubject: The Predator   Fri May 16, 2014 11:19 pm

Hello, my name is Drew. I'm pretty tall, dark-haired, and fairly good looking. I'm eighteen, but I don't go to your school. I don't go to any school. I like to pretend. I pretend I still remember what school was like, pretend I don't have anything to hide, and sometimes I pretend I'm still a good person on the inside.
I'd say that it wasn't my fault, but somehow I think that would be a lie, and I don't want to lie to you, not after all the others. There are a few things that I understand and trust is one of them. Trust is when someone believes in someone else so much that they make themselves vulnerable; I know that when the person you trust hurts you, it's more painful than anything. I trusted someone once, and that was one time too many.
I know there is no hope for me. Whatever is left of my soul is surely too tainted by the blood on my hands to be anything but evil, and I'm not naive enough to believe otherwise. Anyway, I had better start from the beginning.

I've been the way I am for what seems like a long time. I remember very little of what life was like before, what I was like before. One night everything changed...
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Syrena

avatar

Posts : 112
Join date : 2014-05-15
Age : 19
Location : Earth

PostSubject: Re: The Predator   Fri May 16, 2014 11:30 pm

This story continues... In two different versions. One is a realistic horror novel which I will continue posting under this title. The other is a fantasy novel with magical elements like mermaids, demons, and curses which I will post under a different (if possibly similar) title. Pick one or read both and let me know what you think.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SodaSpartan

avatar

Posts : 34
Join date : 2014-05-10
Age : 19
Location : US

PostSubject: Re: The Predator   Mon May 19, 2014 9:07 am

Do both

_________________
"Its a fez, I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool" - the 11th doctor aka matt smith
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SithSider

avatar

Posts : 21
Join date : 2014-05-11
Age : 27

PostSubject: Re: The Predator   Wed May 21, 2014 9:22 pm

I like it Smile You should post your favorite under critique and the other under free writing so that we can see them both.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Syrena

avatar

Posts : 112
Join date : 2014-05-15
Age : 19
Location : Earth

PostSubject: Re: The Predator   Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:29 am

I had run away. I left the people who cared about me far behind. I told myself I would never look back. He had been hidden in an alley, waiting for someone who was lost, someone like me. He called to me from the dark, but I was afraid. When he stepped into the light I thought he was one of those college kids from the campus in midtown. He didn't speak like a kid though. He spoke like a snake, all hushed and fluid spilling false promises. He was tall and blonde and looked like a knight from an old storybook, a hero. He came to me and I looked to him for protection.

Years later I still think back to that day, and every time i do I shiver at the thought. What I didn't know then was that I wasn't meeting a savior that day. I met the devil himself.

The first day I woke up in his house I knew something was wrong. I felt dizzy and my thoughts flowed like mud. I tried to stand up and fell. I tried to crawl but I was too tired. The man walked in. He looked less heroic now and all I wanted was to get away from him. I tried to force myself up off the floor. The effort left me gasping for air and still all I could do was look helplessly up at his smiling face.

I woke up for the second time in a bed. I stood slowly, fearing that my body would not support me. I was shaky, and for a second I stood there just getting my balance. The door to the room was open a little. Slowly I crept into the hall, trying hard to be quiet when every step was unsure. The house was large for a college kid and no door was locked. I found three bedrooms a kitchen and a big living room before I could find my way to the front door. It wasn't locked either. I opened it and saw a long driveways and in the distance a road. Throwing open the door, I ran as fast as my unsteady legs would go. A hundred yards from the street my legs gave out under me and I screamed as a wave of burning pain hit me full force. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. For a moment it was as if I didn't exist, as if there was no drew just a writhing ball of fire where I used to be. "Not a great idea boy" said a soft voice. The man stood there watching me. I should have wondered how he got so close without me knowing he was there. I should have wondered why he just stood there smiling, but there was no room for thought in the burning pain. And when I finally blacked out there was no room for anything.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Syrena

avatar

Posts : 112
Join date : 2014-05-15
Age : 19
Location : Earth

PostSubject: Re: The Predator   Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:22 am

I know that there are a bunch of grammatical errors in that last installment. I changed my mind and am just going to post the fantasy. Maybe the realistic fiction will come later...
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: The Predator   

Back to top Go down
 
The Predator
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» [ACD] Goyo Predator & Chaser
» Predator (1987)
» Alcatraz or Prophet (Crysis) vs Predator.
» Negi, oh Negi, I wonder...[Shizuru]
» Mai-Series Baby Picture Album! [Mai-HiME/Otome]

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Prize We Sought  :: The Ocean :: Critique :: Books-
Jump to: